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A Definitive Ranking Of Every “Real Housewives” Tagline Ever

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A Definitive Ranking Of Every "Real Housewives" Tagline Ever

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198. DeShawn Snow, Atlanta — Season 1

198. DeShawn Snow, Atlanta — Season 1

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Destined for greatness, or just one season as a Housewife? Bravo

197. Karent Sierra, Miami — Season 2

We get it, you’re a dentist. Bravo

196. Jo De La Rosa, OC — Season 1

He didn’t keep you, though. You and Slade broke up, Jo. Bravo

195. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 2

Is anyone on these shows a “traditional” housewife? Bravo

194. Bethenny Frankel, NYC — Seasons 1–3

Minus points for name-checking the city. Bravo

193. Stacie Turner, D.C. — Season 1

This is basically Bethenny’s tagline. Bravo

192. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

Again, Bethenny’s tagline reworked. Bravo

191. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 3

+1 for not just saying “New Jersey is my state.” Bravo

190. Porsha Stewart, Atlanta — Season 5

What’s the opposite of a humble brag? Bravo

189. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 3

Oh, just a brag. Bravo

188. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, NYC — Seasons 2–3

It would be weird if you hated living it. Bravo

187. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 1

Subtle plug for your PR firm, Marysol. Bravo

186. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Season 5

Did Marysol put the spotlight on you? Bravo

185. Lea Black, Miami — Season 3

But does it really? Bravo

184. Chyka Keebaugh, Melbourne — Season 1

And probably money. Bravo

183. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 2

You and Chyka should combine your luck forces. Bravo

182. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 5

#inspirational Bravo

181. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

We need to restrict everyone’s use of the word “journey.” Bravo

180. Janet Roach, Melbourne — Season 2

+1 for the metaphor. Bravo

179. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 4

This is a lie. You’re on the Real Housewives. Bravo

178. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 7

Again, you’re a Housewife. Drama is your job. Bravo

177. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 3

Is anyone not their own person? Bravo

176. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 1

Puns! Bravo

175. Michaele Salahi, D.C. — Season 1

You’d expect a better tagline from the woman who (allegedly) crashed a White House state dinner. Bravo

174. Camille Grammer, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Kelsey Grammer did call RHOBH his “parting gift” to Camille before their divorce. Bravo

173. Jackie Gillies, Melbourne — Season 1

Camille’s tagline + two extra shines. Bravo

172. Shereé Whitfield, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

Three words: She By Shereé. Bravo

171. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

If you say so. Bravo

170. Cat Ommanney, D.C. — Season 1

Like the show, which was canceled after one season. Bravo

169. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 7

Would we? Bravo

168. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 2

What does this even mean? Bravo

167. Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Atlanta — Season 5

#blessed Bravo

166. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 5

Literally. Take a page from Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage by Melissa Gorga. Bravo

165. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

And this is why Phaedra is a lawyer/mortician/fitness instructor/etiquette expert. Bravo

164. Lydia McLaughlin, OC — Season 8

So, Lydia does not believe in reincarnation. Bravo

163. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey — Season 4

This is very Sopranos. Bravo

162. Lizzie Rovsek, OC — Season 9

True. Bravo

161. Heather Dubrow, OC — Season 8

Heather DuBrow, formerly the only brunette on RHOC. Bravo

160. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

When you leave a room, do you sell it? Bravo

159. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 8

Only God — and millions of Bravo viewers — can judge you. Bravo

158. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 8

Technically if you start over, you’re wiping away everything you already did… so you can’t look back. Bravo

157. Amber Marchese, New Jersey — Season 6

Except all the other women on the show who you fought with, Amber. Bravo

156. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 6

What does sadness mean? Bravo

155. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 8

Would’ve been better with “I get tougher too.” Bravo

154. Peggy Tanous, OC — Season 6

This is so anti-soccer mom. Bravo

153. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 2

“Just me. I let me drive me crazy.” Bravo

152. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 3

Bold statement. Bravo

151. Heather Thomson, NYC — Season 6

Minus points for basically stealing Aviva’s tagline. Bravo

150. Aviva Drescher, NYC — Season 5

See, Heather just reworded this. Bravo

149. Alexia Echevarria, Miami — Season 1

Surprising this didn’t end with “And I do.” Bravo

148. Kim Zolciak, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

“And I get mine from Big Papa.” Bravo

147. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 1

We’ve reached the end of the “In [city], [x} gives you [y]” section of taglines. Bravo

146. Alex McCord, NYC — Seasons 1–3

And one of those people is Jill Zarin (see below). Bravo

145. Jill Zarin, NYC — Seasons 1–3

This is what Alex was talking about. Bravo

144. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Hollywood is fake?! Bravo

143. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 4

This is just Kyle’s Season 1 tagline recycled. Bravo

142. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills — Season 4

Sounds dangerous. Bravo

141. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 3

I don’t think this is true. Bravo

140. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills — Season 1

“But I have a lot of money.” Bravo

139. Yolanda Foster, Beverly Hills — Season 5

“I also have a lot of money.” Bravo

138. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 9

The immortal Tamra Judge. Bravo

137. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Season 5

But hold onto beauty as long as you can! Bravo

136. Lauri Peterson, OC — Season 3

OC lifestyle = ability to spend money. Bravo

135. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 6

Solid try at reworking “forgive and forget.” Bravo

134. Gina Liano, Melbourne — Season 2

Another attempt at updating an old adage, but it really just sounds like you misp

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bricesander/every-tagline-ever-62

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